First glimpse and my heart melts

I'm going to start from the day I saw her....

Dec 16^th, 2010

On this Thursday morning, as the kids were getting ready for school, I checked my e-mails as I do most mornings.  Many of the e-mails are from Yahoo adoption groups that I am a member of and have been since bringing Angel home.  Several of these groups have members who advocate for children who are on China’s Special Needs referral list.  Occasionally, I click on a link that will take you to a blog for people who are advocating for certain children, typically showing a picture of them and a brief description of their need and perhaps personality. 

Well, I chose to clink on one of those links that morning and scrolled through, looking at all the adorable children up for adoption. I pray these children have families out there somewhere that will soon find them.  Toward the bottom of a page I locked eyes with an adorable little girl who has eyes that just draw you in.  It was obvious what her “special need” was (though I don’t consider it a special need) without reading the description.  She was covered in lovely little brown spots, Nevus Satellites, a similar condition to what our daughter Angel has.  Next to her picture was the following tidbit about her (Gwen is the nickname given to her on this site):

About this precious litle girl: "Here is an intelligent little girl who has good motor development and is restless and active. She has pigmented skin. She is most happy dancing and she has quick reactions. She is also talkative. She loves new toys that she has never seen before."

My heart melted, as much as I wanted to know more, it was time to finish getting the kids off to school and run some errands.  On my way home from running errands that morning, I heard a song on the radio. I had never heard before and I haven’t heard it since. The song is called “All I really want for Christmas” by Steven Curtis Chapman.  Here are the lyrics and a link to listen to it if you want, it’s a touching song: (have a tissue in hand)

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSV5xW-NLu8

All I really want for Christmas

All I really want for Christmas
Is someone to tuck me in
A shoulder to cry on if I lose
Shoulders to ride on if I win
There's so much I could ask for
But there's just one thing I need
All I really want for Christmas is a family

Well I guess I should go ahead and tell you now
If it's really true about that list you have (referring to Santa)
Somehow I always seem to end up in a fight
But I'm really trying hard not to be bad
But maybe if I had a brother or a dad to wrestle with
Well, maybe they could teach me how to get along
And from everything I've heard
Sounds like the greatest gift on earth would be a mom

All I really want for Christmas
Is someone to tuck me in
A shoulder to cry on if I lose
Shoulders to ride on if I win
There's so much I could ask for
But there's just one thing I need
All I really want for Christmas

Is someone who'll be there
To sing me "Happy Birthday"
For the next 100 years
And it's OK if they're not perfect
Well, even if they're a little broken, that's alright
'Cause so am I

Well, I guess I should go
It's almost time for bed
And maybe next time I write you
I'll be at home

'Cause all I really want for Christmas
Is someone to tuck me in
Tell me I'll never be alone
Someone whose love will never end
Of all that I could ask for
Well, there's just one thing I need
All I really want for Christmas
All I really want for Christmas is a family

Just a family

That's all I really need

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Needless to say, I cried as I listened to this song. Upon arriving home, I sent an e-mail to my husband at work with the subject: He's talking to me again…  All I put in the e-mail were these lyrics, a photo of the little girl and the following message:

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You can antagonize me latter for even looking.   Did the Great Man above do this on purpose?   I ran across a precious girl this morning and then heard the following song on the radio, as she once again popped in my mind and I cried as I listened….

(after the lyrics and picture I put the following)

…and yes I’m a little biased on Nevus beauties.

And, I think the little boy I was advocating/praying for must have been matched as I can no longer find his file!!! YAY (note to blog readers: I was drawn to  a little boy in early 2010 that I advocated for)

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. John 14:18

Love you,

~~Tracy~~

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That was all I wrote.  I then sent it to Jason, never really saying another word to him about it. 

That afternoon I e-mailed an adoption agency about getting her file to review; I already felt I had been given a “sign” saying we were to adopt her but figured even if not I had every intention of advocating for her since I was familiar with her medical condition.  Time goes so slow when you are waiting for a response.