Pray for Noel

Seeking prayers for Noel...I received an update from an acquaintance who knows our Noel situation quite well, she had been working on seeking medical assistance for Noel and has succeeded in finding an organization willing to help.  The hold back is those in charge at the orphanage; please pray that they will agree to accept the offer of better care for Noel. At this point, her life might depend on it.  Please share this with any and all prayer warriors you know.

My prayer...

Lord, I cry out to you today, that you would open the hearts of those in charge at the orphanage our precious Noel resides at. I pray that they will accept the offer from an organization willing to do their best to provide the care that they lack the resources for. Noel is your child, Lord, but she continues to weigh heavily on my heart. I long for her to have the best care. I know You are laying Your comforting hands on her and that You are by her side but my mothering heart aches to know more. Please accept my plea.  In Your Holy name, amen.weigh heavily on my heart. I long for her to have the best care, Lord. I know You are by her side, laying Your comforting hands upon her but my mothering heart aches to know more. Please accept my plea. In Your Holy name, amen. lack the resources for. Noel is your child Lord but she continues to weigh heavily on my heart. I long for her to have the best care, Lord. I know You are by her side, laying Your comforting hands upon her but my mothering heart aches to know more. Please accept my plea. In Your Holy name, amen.

lack the resources for. Noel is your child Lord but she continues to weigh heavily on my heart. I long for her to have the best care, Lord. I know You are by her side, laying Your comforting hands upon her but my mothering heart aches to know more. Please accept my plea. In Your Holy name, amen.

Surgeries successful - recovering

It was a long day of surgeries on Thursday.  Corban began the day at 7:30am and Angel came out of surgery about 2:30pm.  The surgeries all went well.  Each of the boys had 3 tissue expanders placed.  We had only expected Corban to have two large expanders placed in his back but at his preop appointment on Wednesday we learned Dr. B thought he'd need to place a small one in Corban's forehead to removed the spot located there.  It was then that we got a clearer understand of his intentions for Angel.

Angel had a portion of the remaining nevus on her nose excised.  Dr. B also did some narrowing of her nose bridge between the eyes and thinning of the scars around her nostrils. She has recovered quite well.  She only had pain meds for the following 36 hours or so and then at bed time.  She has only mentioned discomfort in certain areas at time but it doesn't seem to be enough to interfere with activities.

This was on Sunday

Now the kids are on amends.  They have perked up each day and now the boys are ready to be up and about but we are still limiting that.  They have drainage tubes in and the  more active them are, the more they tend to fill up.  I think by the end of today we will be able to remove two of Tegan's three tubes.  Corban still has a few days to go till removing any of his.

These were taken yesterday

Recover, overall has gone pretty well.  Tegan dealt with quite a bit of nausea following surgery but by Friday morning he was finally able to keep food and meds down!!!  They have been real troopers.  I know they have been uncomfortable, Tegan will point to what is hurting and I can gage their pain meds that way. Their personalities are back so I know they are feeling much better.  The "terrible" two's attitudes are making their appearances.

I will be glad when all their drainage tubes are out though that means we are close to doing the first fill of the expanders and I am not looking forward to that.  I'm sure these 9 weeks will go by quickly and we'll be back at the hospital for surgery, again.  Their transformation with these balloons will be amazing, watch as I post their progress pictures each week.

Thanks for all the prayers during surgery!

Surgery X 3 on Thursday

Two months ago I officially became the mother of 6.  It seems so long ago yet it doesn't - I know that doesn't make much sense it is just the way it seems with all that has transpired.  With that passage of time, the surgery dates that I set up before we even had travel approval to bring the boys home have approached.  When you are booking with a well known surgeon, you have to plan way in advance.

On Wednesday morning, we will make the almost 6 hour drive to Chicago for pre-op appointments with the surgeon.  It will be the first time he has met the boys but he has seen many pictures.  It will be the sixth surgery for our daughter. If you calculated that correctly, all three of our nevus owners will undergo surgery on Thursday, one after another. 

Corban and Tegan will have tissue expanders (similar to balloons) inserted so that we can begin growing new tissue to replace their birthmark tissues.  It is an amazing process that we went through with our daughter two and a half years ago.  I will do my best to update the blog as to document their progress for others who will face similar procedures.  Therefore, I want to forewarn you that some of the pictures I post will be a bit painful to look at.  Know that typically it is harder to look at than how the child feels.  Our daughter was a trooper through the many procedures she has undergone.  If you would like to see how her procedure went you can visit the posts I made starting in late June 2009 and follow them from there.

Please pray for our children, the surgeon and for my husband and I - it will be a long day and night. Tegan (along with dad) and Corban (along with mom) will be staying overnight. Our daughter, Angel's, procedure is outpatient so she will get to leave the hospital and spend the night at the hotel with a good friend of ours.

I'm not really ready for all of this but then again no one every really is. My biggest fear is that anesthesia for the first time for both the boys. My faith is in God and that He is in control so as Philippians 4:6 says I will pray about everything and do my best not to worry.

One amazing year, heartache and joy!

Today I think of where we were one year ago. One year ago, we were a family of 6 having just returned a few days prior from spending Christmas with our extended family. We were also recovering from our New Year's party that we spent with severas families and played games all evening.

On our minds was a 2 year old little girl, "Noel"was her referred name, that I had seen for the first time less than two weeks prior. She weighed heavly on our hearts. I was praying for my husband, Jason's, heart to be opened to her joining our family. He was praying, asking God if it was His will that this child be a part of our family though he was a bit reluctant in making our already semi-big family even bigger. Boy did God have even bigger plans.

Just days later my husband told me that he felt we were to proceed with adopting Noel, my heart was overjoyed. On January 10th we submitted our application to Madison Adoption Associates and began the adoption journey, for the second time. That same day we submitted our LOI, letter of intent to adopt Noel, and received pre-approval, in less than 3 days. I remember my surprise when I saw the email stating we had pre-approval, China had the paperwork less than 2 days. Everything seemed to falling into place. Our home study began right away and by mid-February we were just about ready to finalize it. That's when the dreaded phone call came, Wednesday, February 16th.

Thankfully, I was having lunch with a friend when my cell phone rang, I saw it was the adoption agency and decided I better take the call. The words I heard next, kicked me in the gut and the tears of confusion and heartbreak began to flow. Something like the following, "Tracy, we received an email from the CCAA, there isn't much info but the orphanage is pulling Noel from being adopted, she is quite ill." I was told they would do what they could to find out more information but made no promises that they would be able to get many details and that is just what happened. We received a medical update that had been done in December but there weren't many details as to her precise diagnosis.

Today I sit sit at my desk, with Noel's photos still taped to an upper cabinet on my desk. I have yet to remove them because she still weighs so heavily on my heart. We have no update on her despite the efforts of our agency to try to find out more. We do not know if she has recovered or if she still battles what ailed her one year ago. It still still hurts me that she didn't come home with us this fall. All we can do is pray for her, wherever she is and hope that she has improved. We pray that she will weigh heavily on the hearts of another family who will be drawn down the same path but who successfully bring her home. Despite this heartache, our story did not end on a dreary note; instead, God saw fit that we would be blessed with not only one more child but two.

In early March, after the dust settled a bit from the news of Noel, I was led to the file of a little boy who has the same birthday as me and who also has a large facial nevus like Angel, our daughter adopted in March 2009. The ironic thing was that Madison had recently recognized his file and had thought about us a perfect fit. They did not contact us right away because they were giving us time to recover from Noel and because they were preparing to do a camp at the orphanage this little guy resided at. So when I asked them if I could review this little guy's file, they informed me of their wanting to contact us about him but were giving us some time. Amazing how it all came together. Once again, within a few days we submitted our LOI to pursue "Abe" as they called him, he is known to us as Tegan!

In March we finally finalized our home study and moved forward with the remaining paperwork that needed to be done. We had made sure that our home study approved to adopt two children, in case Noel would get better. By early May, our Dossier was near completion but God knew there was someone out there still waiting for us. After our agency's China contact learned from a resource that Noel was likely not going to improve, we reluctantly gave up hope that she was to be ours and a void arose. Then in May, once again, I stumbled onto the file of another little boy who had been waiting for almost a year on the waiting list. He was only a couple weeks older than Tegan but had a Nevus that was much more extensive, though not as extensive as Noel's. Once again I prayed for God's will and for my husband's heart. Did we have enough love to add not only one but two toddlers to our family? That was the question I asked of myself and my then to my husband.  The next question was is there a good reason why we shouldn't give these two little guys the opportunity of a family?  And we couldn't.

By the end of May our Dossier was completed and sent to China.  We also submitted our LOI to adopt Corban. And the rest is in recent posts. 

Seven months later, I sit here as a mother of 6 though in my heart I'm a mother of 7.  I am filled with much joy that my heavenly Father saw us worthy enough to be parents to these two miraculous boys. Two boys who have taught us so much in the short two months they have been with us.  Did I ever think that I'd be a mother of 6, nope but I wouldn't have it any other way!  Praise the Lord for His plans because His will is beyond what I could ever have imagined for myself.  I know He has big plans for Noel, whatever they may be.

God bless you Noel, you will forever hold a place in my heart.  Praying for you every day. Wo Ai Ni, Noel.

Corban - almost 8 weeks later

Corban after a buzz cut!

Corban has come so far in 8 weeks, it is almost hard to believe this is the same child.  He has gone from only ever having a bottle as his sole source of nutrition, four times a day, down to two bottles a day, eating and drinking from a sippy.  A month ago, I would have never guessed we'd be this far in his feeding progress.

We have had many doctor appointments and evaluations completed in the past 4 weeks as well.   At the beginning of December, we met with a physical therapist who didn't show much concern just that we needed to build up his leg, core and chest muscles. She showed us exercises or activities to do that.  We don't have to meet with her again unless we feel he isn't progressing.

We then met with an ENT to have his ears and hearing checked, this resulted in learning that he had way too much ear wax to have his hearing checked.  We were instructed to put a few drops of oil in his ears every few days to soften it up. We went back this past Wednesday to have the ear wax cleaned out, wow did he have a lot of wax in his left ear - gross.   Since Corban is still not responsive all they could do was to do the hearing test they do on infants to be sure he has the ability to hear and that he passed.  I knew he would because he responds to us calling his name from another room.  We won't know truly if he has full hearing till he is able to complete a full hearing evaluation.  Hopefully, he will be ready for that in about 8 month.

The main concern about his hearing is his lack of speech though he is beginning to say/repeat a few words.  The main four words he can say are hi, nice, more and up.  It's a start. He does mimic the basic sounds of some things we say and can do basic repeated sounds like: ba ba ba, ma ma ma, da da da, etc.

A few weeks ago we also met with a feeding therapist and she was quite impressed with him as well. She liked that he was willing to try just about everything she presented to him and that he has some good basic mouth movements.  Her main concern his his lack of oral strength so that is what we are to work on.  We will begin to meet with her about every other week to help him grasp the concept of chewing because that is really all that is holding us back in feeding at this point.

We also are also having him evaluated by our school system's early intervention program.  They have a whole team of specialists: physical, occupational, feeding and speech therapist included.  We are waiting for a few more evaluations.  They will then write up a report on where he stands developmentally and then we will figure out a schedule where they will begin to visit us, here at home ,to help him begin to achieve goals.  He's come so far already, I can't wait to see how much he continues to develop with their assistance.

We have been working on sign language signs for eat, more and all done.  He does a pretty good job with them. It is probably time to begin to work on a few more signs.

It seems like every few days I say to my husband, he doesn't seem to be doing such and such as often as he was. We are in awe of his progress.  What are some of these "such and suches" he isn't doing or is doing less of:

• He isn't banging his head on things or with things anymore. He does still throws himself to the floor with a head toss back or he will hit himself in the head with his hands at times when he gets upset. Though we would prefer he not be doing these things too, it is a big improvement.
• He used to just outburst with a high pitched scream/squeal, not as in upset or anything, just a sound he made. When he would do this and I was nearby, I would put my hand on his lips and say "uh uh" because is was ear piercing and disrupting depending on where we were.
• We at times had to force feed him is bottles, now when he finished a bottle, (usually 8 oz) he gets upset.
• He no longer bites, other than me occasionally when I am working on feeding things with him and my fingers are in there. Ouch.
• He no longer sucks his thumb during the day or at snuggle time. Took about 2 solid weeks of pulling his hand out of his mouth during the day when he was just playing.  It did upset him at times and some might think that was a cruel but I think if we would have let it go too much longer it would have become much harder to break him. He does still suck his thumb in bed.

I'm sure there are many other things that I cannot think of right now but these are the major achievements.

I can see Corban emerging out of his shell.  He is becoming more comfortable with us and for that I am pleased.  At nap time he will actually relax a bit, at least until he begins to doze off, then he will throw a bit of a fit and relax again.  He has only fallen asleep in our arms a few times.

Corban likes giving kisses and hugs and seeks to be picked up.  He is still very much one who likes to do his own thing, for the most part. Corban still get's upset easily and often but then again he is two and constantly getting into/doing things he shouldn't. Redirection doesn't work well with him, it's what he wants to do or a fit. Slowly, this is improving.

I forgot to mention that he has gained 2 pounds and grown about an inch in the past month - it's amazing.

We thank God everyday for these two boys for without God blessing us with them, I cannot imagine how Tegan's but especially Corban's life would have ended up. Our lives are better with them as a part of our family too.  We have spiritually learned so much through them.

Tegan - 8 weeks later

Tegan trying to fill dad's shoes.

Tegan has come a long way in the 8 weeks since I met him. His adaptation to our family has been pretty smooth. The girls love to play with him because he will follow them around and do what they ask, most of the time.  He will stand his ground though if they keep taking things from him. Kailey has spoiled him. Tegan knows Kailey will pick him up if he ask her to (by raising his arms to her) or show him sympathies when he gets in "trouble".

Tegan has been testing his boundaries (as any 2 year old does) since the day we met him and it seems to come in waves now here at home.  Most of his testing is when you tell him to stop doing something.  He will watch you and keeps doing it, little stinker.  He's not a fan of being removed from the situation and that is "punishment" enough at this point.

He likes to help do tasks around the house.  After dinner he will take his plate to the sink and will clear other things off the table if anything is left behind.  We have to be careful what we leave because he will clear cups with liquids still in them. Wish the rest of our kids willingly helped like this.

His verbal skills have come a long way.  He can say many words on his own, though not perfectly but that will come. He even puts two words together at times!  A few of my favorite are:

• banana
• I love you - this is way cute as he will come up to me and say "mama" and I'll show him he has my attention and he will say "I love you" - oh so precious!!!
• thank you - and he uses this at appropriate times - love it!!!
• shoes on/off
• awesome - this was his daddy's doing, he started out getting him to repeat "daddy's awesome"
• huggy - when he wants a hug, the girls got him started on that one - he likes to pucker up and give kisses too.

He and Corban still do not interact much.  I am thankful that Tegan has done well with Corban though.  Sometime he will willingly give to Corban a toy that he wants. Tegan also does pretty well with the fact that we have to pay so much more attention to Corban. I feel bad that this is the way it is but it is unavoidable. We are blessed in that he has 4 older siblings who shower him in love and attention though, when we can't. 

I think Tegan still shows some reserve.  I feel like he hasn't fully let go and fully attached to us yet, I know it's only been 8 weeks. Maybe I'm reading to much into it but it's mostly at bed/nap time when we snuggle them before bed, he doesn't really snuggle in and maybe that is because he doesn't know how to.  He seems to be on alert and will fight falling to sleep in your arm, though he does on occasion if you sit with him long enough.

I have to add that he just did the cutest thing at breakfast.  He was sitting at the table eating his cereal and daddy sat around the corner from him.  Tegan said "baba" and then tapped the bench next to him, asking his daddy to sit right next to him.  Oh so sweet!

8 weeks ago - is that all it's been?

Is 8 weeks all it has been since Tegan and a few days later Corban joined our family?  Why is it that is seems like it has been longer than that?  Amazing how much has gone on and how much they have adapted in that short time!

I know I have been slacking on the blog, there just haven't been enough hours in the day lately.  Where do I begin? I'll start with our family overall and then I'll do a post on each of the boys, as soon as I have some time.

The overall family dynamics have improved. Angel and our dog, Jewlz, are both showing less jealousy and are finding their place in the shift of family roles.  Angel loves to play with the boys, well mainly Tegan because he will play along, during the day when the rest of the kids are off to school. She likes having them all to herself because Kailey becomes "director" when she is home. Kailey is a huge help in entertaining them and seems to enjoy her new "little mother" role.  Michiael and Logan are helpful as well, when asked, and thankfully they haven't complained about helping.  They have become good big brothers to their new little brothers.

Our Christmas was nice.  We spent our Christmas, for the very first time ever, at our own home. Ever since Jason and I married (and even before) we always traveled back to Indiana for about a week to visit with our parents and extended family.  Though we missed seeing our family this holiday season, we really enjoyed starting our own Christmas traditions and waking up Christmas morning in our own home. We finally got to make the "Happy Birthday Jesus" cake I've wanted to make the past few years and then we sang Happy Birthday, Jesus in Chinese (Angel began taking Chinese lessons and this is one of the songs she has learned)

Overall, I think everyone is adjusting to their new roles quite nicely. It does get a little crazy here sometimes but we manage. Even in the midst of the craziness we thank God everyday for growing our family and the growth we have seen in Tegan and Corban as well as the rest of our family.

Well I know this is short but we are having family photos taken in a few hours so I must go begin to get everyone ready. I will try to get an update done on each of the boys soon.