Somewhat Organized Chaos

The title pretty much sums up our life now a days. 

Tegan is a non-stop talker, singer, or noise maker.  He does his best to keep up with his sisters and is very disappointed if he is not allowed join them.  He is in his second year of PreK and will be more than ready for Kindergarten next year, despite having a June birthday.  The only special service he is receiving is a little work with a speech therapist.  He is understood my most people, but we are concerned that he is a little lazy with certain sounds and want to be sure it doesn't stem from the Chinese he was already speaking. At this point it just a short term intervention.

Corban is a totally different child than just a year ago.  I believe the multi-sensory therapy (Mendability) we have been doing with him has really helped in that process.  A year ago he was saying only a few words and did not do any requesting of anything.  Today, he can put together short sentences, knows the letters of the alphabet and each of their sounds, colors, shapes, numbers, and has recently been saying "I want ....", which I was beginning to wonder if he'd ever request things!!!!!  PTL!!!!  He is in a special education preK class, works with a school speech therapist and a private speech therapist.  He catches onto things pretty quickly and keeps his teacher on her toes to challenge him.  He still has a long way to go in socializing, he still prefers to do his own thing, most of the time; therefore, he will probably go to PreK for a third year.  

Corban's demeanor has improved quite a bit, as well  He still gets upset for the weirdest things but it is much less than it was and he rarely does any sort of self-abusing anymore.  He seeks our attention and asks for hugs or kisses.  He rarely plays with toys like they are meant to be played with and gets mad if you try to show him how to play with it.  Lately, he just sits on the couch with a book, flipping through the pages and rubbing them.  I have gotten to the point of encouraging him to play because I'm not a fan of him just sitting all day but then he breaks down.  This is beginning to wear on me.  He was beginning to do imaginary play at one point but seems to have reverted (if anyone has any experience with this, please give me some guidance).  Redirecting him to play with something does not work for him, he just gets upset and shuts down

I'm sure I've forgotten lots of things but those are the highlights. Please let me know if you have any specific curiosities about how things are going.  Since I decided to pursue grad school last year, I just haven't had the time to keep up with the blog.  I am currently almost half way through my first internship, which allows me a little free time and will then start my second round of 6 classes in the spring.

We had both boys baptized in July just before their final (I'm hoping so, anyway) round of expanders were removed.

  

Two years ago I stepped foot in China for the 2nd time!

Corban's 1st day of PreK - Sept 2013

Tegan enjoying Family Fun day at Church - Sept 2013

Two years ago from today, I arrived in China to meet two precious boys - I was tired from the long flight and half day time change, anxious for the three weeks ahead of me, still yearning for the little girl that was so close yet so far away that I just wanted to hold and say "we love you",  already missing my family, and unbeknownst to me at the time, in for a major life change.  I am so extremely thankful for the two beautiful women (,y mom and aunt) who traveled with me and helped me get through the first two weeks of that trip.  They were my rocks when I was unsure if our family was prepared to handle the unexpected challenges that Corban presented.  Today, although the journey has not been easy, I am grateful that God chose us to see the potential within Corban; that all he needed was a family who would be his rock and would challenge him to bloom into the person God made him to be!  Tegan and Corban - God has BIG plans for you and we are blessed to watch both of you blossom!

Expansion Journey #2

Preparing to watch their first Homecoming parade, days before surgery! 

On September 28th, the boys had their second set of expanders placed.  Tegan had three placed, one in the back of his head, one in his neck and one in his forehead.  Corban had two expanders placed in his back.

This is how Corban's back looked just before round #2.

This is how the expanders looked the day after being placed, one on the left and one on the right side of his back.

This is Tegan the day after surgery, not a happy camper.

     

 (Above ) This is about half way through expansion.

     

    

(Above ) At their max

     

Good 'ol Papaw joins us on surgery day for entertainment and moral support!

   

Corban post surgery.

And drum roll.....Tegan's amazing results.....

And Tegan, today after removing all drains and a bath!  

Below is a before.

Once again, Dr. B has amazed us with his abilities.

Praising the Lord that we had a smooth round of expansion!!!!

Time to catch up...

Life with 6 kiddos sure does make time fly, so much so that there has been little time for me to keep up with this blog.  Where should I begin....

Well, on top of everything, this spring I decided to apply to grad school and after 3 months of my application getting misplaced, I was accepted in early August to a 100% online program to earn a Masters in Social Work!  I started my first 8 week class August 27th and just finished my second class on December 16th!  Earning A's in both classes!!!!  Now that I'm half way through my winter break, I've found a little bit of time to do some catching up on the boys' progress.

Corban and Tegan began three day AM preschool just after Labor Day.  This took some adjustment for Corban who struggles with changes that aren't done on his time and for his teacher who I'm sure has never had to work with a child who has been has strong avoidance behaviors, as I knew it would be.  Tegan fell right into the routine and loves it.  He admires his teacher, Mrs. B, and tells me often how pretty she is.  We are thankful the preschool has been willing to work with us and Corban's concerns.  

First Day of Preschool!!!!

On September 28th, Corban and Tegan had surgery, in Chicago, to have their second sets of expanders placed.  I'll make a separate post about that.

On October 10th, Corban's big brother, Michiael, and I took him to the University of Iowa Clinic to have an Autism evaluation completed.  It was a long day of testing.  In the morning, we spent over an hour with a pediatric physician answering many questions about the mannerisms Corban presents that brought us there and his history.  We then had about 90 minutes for lunch and returned another few hours with a psychologist and speech therapist.  Thankfully, the latter two worked together, completing the appointment sooner than we anticipated.  We received reports from each of the specialists about 2 weeks later.  They did not diagnose him as autistic but said that he had strong concerning avoidance behaviors.  Anytime he is pressured to do something new, that is not on his terms, he throws a huge fit, will hit is hand (or sometimes just a finger) on something saying "owe" to seek attention.  He had other behaviors before this (throwing himself backwards to the floor, hitting himself in the head with a toy) but those faded and this one started about May of this year and we saw it many times a day.  

At home, this behavior has not worked to his advantage and the psychologist agreed with how we were dealing with it.  We ignore the behavior, not feeding him the attention/response he was seeing and continue to work with him in completing the task presented to him.  With new people he encounters, he tests this behavior; therefore, we have to tell people not to give in to him.  This presents a challenge at preschool because there is only one teacher for 8-10 (depending on the day) kids; therefore, she does not have time to be persistent with him, we tried to make this point with AEA in May during his initial evaluation meeting, but they thought exposure in a regular preschool would be all he needed to make progress.

After a few weeks in the preK, the AEA contacted us about checking in on Corban to see how he was adjusting.  After observing him, providing the teacher guidance on working with Corban and then the reports from his autism evaluation, they quickly decided they needed to do a reevaluation because he was not progressing like they had hoped he would.  (When they called me in October, seeking permission to do the reevaluation all I wanted to say was "We told you this is what was going to happen," but I instead did a little happy dance and said "most definitely because we were going to request you do a reevaluation") Don't take this wrong, I wanted Corban to succeed but after seeing, what we already knew was likely to happen, my heart broke that we had wasted all this time.  All I want is what is best for Corban and right now that is a special education preschool equipped with adequate staff and teachers who know how to work with "challenging" behaviors.  Thankfully, we had his IEP meeting on Dec 12th and he has been accepted into the program and will begin on January 7th! YAY!

Batman (Corban) and Spider man (Tegan) for Halloween!

That is the quick overview of what has happened over the past four and a half months.  I will do more specific posts following this one.  Thank you for checking in on us even though it's been quite.  God Bless!

Progress...

Corban has really come out of his shell over that past few weeks.  He seems to be "putting this and that together", better understanding the world and how things work.  He has been playing with toys more in the way they are intended rather than just sitting and spinning the wheel or rhythmically rolling it side to side.  He is pointing out things he sees and calling them by name (car, airplane, train, door).  I can't wait to see how much progress he makes once preschool starts.  Jason was gone for most of this week, upon returning yesterday it didn't take long for him to notice the progress Corban has made in just 4 days.

So what's happened over the past 3 months...  Tegan and Corban are now potty trained.  Yes, Corban surprised me!  He is beginning to state when he has to potty (the way he says it is cute)- this has been the hardest part, getting him to vocally state he needs to potty.  It is beginning to help that on occasion he his "holding himself" when he needs to go - YAY.  It is always encouraging to me when he does things that seem to be "natural" things kids do.  

The closer we get to the autism evaluation we have set up for Corban, in October, the more I wonder if he just needed time to adjust and catch up.  Either way, I think we will go through with it to be sure.

In July, our family made a road trip to Texas for the biannual  Nevus conference.  It was an amazing experience!  We met many fabulous families and learned great information.  We look forward to going again in 2 years!

At the end of May, we had Corban evaluated by a private speech therapist so he could continue to make progress over the summer.  The program through the school system only works with him during the school year.  Our insurance is very specific on circumstances in which they will cover speech therapy - either it is needed due to an injury or due to a medical reason.  Corban's autism evaluation isn't till October so we don't have a diagnosis but the speech therapist were able to do an evaluation that they submitted to our insurance company to seek approval.  Finally, at the end of June, we received a letter from our insurance stating they would cover 60 sessions for the remainder of the year!  PTL,  they saw that he really needed some help.  

Our four oldest kiddos return to school on Monday.  I am looking forward to the house being a little quieter and less chaotic but I will miss all the extra hands.  They really are a huge help with Corban and Tegan.  I'm sure Corban and Tegan will miss them during the day.

On the flip side, Corban and Tegan will also begin preschool 3 days a week after Labor Day.  I will also be going back to school.  In April I felt it was time to consider going back to school so I can start working once the boys begin elementary.  I was accepted into a masters of social work program earlier this month.  I begin taking classes for the program on August 27th.  Currently, I am working on completing a human biology for social workers prerequisite.  I to write 14 essays, one for each chapter of the book.   As of today, I have 6 of them complete.  May ultimate goal is to have them all done by the 27th but I didn't accomplish as much this week as I had hoped.

The journey over the last 9 months has not been easy but there have been many joyful, happy heart moments.  My patience is challenged at times, the Lord knows this is a difficult area for me.  He also seems to know when to throw a happy heart moment in to make it all seem worth it.  Slowly, I am learning to keep myself "glued" together.  

Next week, a whole new routine begins.  I have a feeling time is going to fly with all the running here and there.  It's inevitable with 6 kids. 

Lastly, the all three of our nevus owners are scheduled for surgery on September 28th.  Corban and Tegan will have tissue expanders placed and Angel will have a few small areas excised.  What a busy time that will be.  They will all three go back for surgery on December 21st as well.

Thank you Lord for my kids, they keep me on my toes and make my heart smile.  I am blessed that you have entrusted me to care for Your children.  What an honor.  Forever praising Your Name!  Amen!

A Mother's Love...

With tomorrow being mother's day and then soon all three of our adopted children's birthdays, I think about each of their mothers.  I am grateful to them for choosing to have these babies and giving them the opportunity to live.  My heart breaks for them and the choice they had to make and the heartache they must feel as the birthdays near.  I cannot imagine the "weight" they carry.


My prayer for these mothers: 
I pray for them to have peace, that they would know deep down in their soul that their children are cared for and loved.  I pray for them to have strength because they did what they knew they had to do for these children to have a good life.  I pray for them to have hope, that they would come to know Christ and feel his presence among them.  My heavenly Father, I pray your hand upon them as I pray these things for them - Amen!


I dedicate this poem to Angel's, Tegan's and Corban's birth mothers.  I made a few changes (original words are in parenthesis), to read as if I were reading it to our children: 

Your (My) Birth Mom

© Emily E. Adkisson

Loving and gracious the
Women I've never met.
She made a difficult decision and
She will debate that decision for the
Rest of her life.
It was something she knew she had to do
She did it with
A Mothers Love.

She thinks about you (me) everyday
Every birthday, Every Mothers Day
Hurt will always be there.
You (I) would not be the person
You are (I am) today without
A Mothers Love.

I can never thank her enough
For all the pain
She must go through
To give you (me) a wonderful life
She had to show the biggest amount of
A Mothers Love.

Source: My Birth Mom, A Mother's Love, Adoption Poem http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/my-birth-mom-a-mothers-love#ixzz1ugZzTxue 
www.FamilyFriendPoems.com 

7 Weeks post Grafts

I know I'm a little slow on the blog, my intentions are good but life with 6 kids keeps me going and easily distracted.

The boys have healed well.  I removed all of Tegan's scalp stitches on my own - impressively he sat pretty well for it.  Thankfully it didn't take long to do.

Corban's on the other hand were a different story.  At two weeks out, which is how long they wanted us to wait, many of his stitches were starting to be embedded in the skin. Thankfully a retired nurse from our church offered to assist in removing them.  Good thing because it was not an easy task and took about an hour to get them all out with his squirming and all.  She had brought along some homemade chocolate chip cookies, Corban didn't want anything to do with them.  He was just ready to be left alone.

As of today, we are still wrapping Corban in an ace wrap. A nice chunk of the graft (about 3" long and 1 inch wide") died on the lower left side and supposedly the compression of the wrap along with the cortisone we've been putting on it, for the past 3 weeks, will help it heal faster.  I can finally say that in the past week, we have finally seen improvement.

Tegan has healed really well, thankfully no issues with him.  We had plenty of that before this last surgery.

Here is what Corban's incisions looked like April 1st, you can see on his left side (the right picture) the start of a hole in the corner of the flap.

Here is what the incisions looked like 8 days after the above photos:

Here is what it looks like as of  earlier this week :

                            

I hope this will be the last week we have to wrap him with it warming up. He can get quite hot with all that extra cloth on him.

We have set dates for their next set of expanders, that will happen on September 28th.  Then they will be removed  on December 21st. We do know that Tegan will not get an expander placed in his next this next time, Dr B wants to wait till next year to try the neck again.  Wants to give it plenty of healing time.  I'm not a huge fan that he has to sport then not so pretty scar for that long but I know doc knows what he's doing.  

I know many will think we are crazy doing it so close to the holiday but we don't want them missing too much preschool due to the multiple 2 week recoveries so we are utilizing Christmas break and I'll have extra hands to help entertain them.