16 of 252 puzzle pieces in place!

Because this blog is a continuation of our second adoption journey, I have to give a shout out to our son Tegan!  Today his fourth year with us - we are so very blessed to be his parents.  Happy 4th Gotcha day, Tegan - can't wait to see you get to be a big brother to Xavier!!!  I know you are excited to finally have that title and not be the youngest Downey!

While the fundraising is slowly trudging forward (you can see our fundraising thermometer to the right), we are getting ready to begin the exciting paper trail ride of adoption!!!  I expect to have our completed home study in hand sometime tomorrow, which means I can then mail off our application to U.S. Immigration.  Then we wait on an invitation for my husband and I to go get our fingerprints taken.  I still don't understand why we have to do this again, we've done this multiple times before - do fingerprints change?

Things will keep moving on down the paper trial from here till the day we receive Travel Approval (TA) - roughly 5-6 months from now!!!!  While that seems like we have time to fund raise, we've already incurred about a third of the adoption expenses.

If you would like to help us with fundraising, please let us know.  Perhaps you have some things you could sell or would like to involve your kids in fundraising for a good reason!  We are blessed by every dollar contributed.  Thank you!

 

Would you be a piece of the puzzle?

As you now know the big news, many are asking who this precious boy is.  We would love to introduce a picture of him but will begin by introducing his name - Xavier Paul.  To see a picture of him….well, you will have to read on to learn how you can play a part in seeing him and being a part of this amazing puzzle, called adoption! 

As you are probably aware, bridging the gap between a waiting child and their forever family is a costly journey. We are stepping out in faith while trusting God to build a bridge for the funding gap. We would be forever grateful for your prayers and your support in helping our children come home to the love of a family.

Would you be a piece of this puzzle?  Every person who donates to our adoption becomes a part of our story; a piece of our lives, these precious children’s lives!!!

Here's how it works:

We have selected a 252 piece puzzle that includes a picture of our entire family, including our new additions!!!  Each piece will symbolize someone who helps to bring these children home to us.

The Puzzle!

Each piece is a minimum donation of $20

You may choose to be one piece of the puzzle or several pieces of the puzzle – for each $20 increment we will add a piece to the puzzle with YOUR name will be written on the back, representing your part in this journey!

THE CHALLENGE – Xavier’s picture (9 puzzle pieces) will be the last pieces of the puzzle to be added.  Sneaky, I know!

After the puzzle is completed, we will frame the puzzle between two pieces of glass and hang it in our family room. This will be a wonderful keepsake to see all the people who helped bring Esther and Xavier home!  YOU will be a part of completing the missing pieces to our family’s puzzle!

One day we will sit with these children and read off all the names that helped bring them home!  Telling them, "These people loved you before they even knew each of you!"

So when we sell ALL 252 pieces, you have helped to raising over $5,000! This will help to cover a nice chunk of the adoption paperwork expenses!

We would be so honored if you were a part of bringing our children home!

You can donate to our tax-deductible site through our AdoptTogether page  - or mail us a check [email us at tnjdowney @ msn.com (remove the spaces) to get our address]. Please indicate on the site how many pieces you would like and what name(s) to put on the back of each puzzle piece(s). Please share this information with your friends too!  We would love to have the puzzle completed before Christmas because our dossier should be in China by then!

I will be updating the blog with a picture of the puzzle as progress is made so you can see the process and eventually Xavier!

Challenging God to prove His calling for us….

James 1:5-6 - If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.

This verse has been so true as I share the next amazing phase of our journey…

As we have diligently gathered the many documents needed to compile our dossier for China, I continued to pray another pray.  God’s hand had been evident in adding Esther (Lan) to our family; therefore, I further sought His will, asking “is there another, Lord?”  Mind you, I hadn’t mentioned the possibility of bringing home two to my husband as he had previously mentioned that he likely wouldn’t pursue two at once again, if that time ever came.  Recalling this had my stomach in knots but I knew if God could soften my husband’s heart for Esther, then I knew He would do it again.

With faith, I challenged God to show me signs if there is another child out there who He is asking us to parent.  Additionally, knowing I would be in the midst of my internship when we travel, I told God (lol, I know, sound funny to think I could put parameters on this)that  if we were to bring home two, there was no way I could spend three weeks in China, like last time.  This would mean that the second child would have to be in the same province, but not necessarily the same city, as Esther.

 

Would you believe that within days of deliberately seeking God’s will, I received the file for a child who I have watched age before my eyes.  A child I have advocated for but never knew the province he resided in.  After a quick search to determine the city he resides in, BINGO, I found he happens to be the same province as Esther!!!  My heart skipped a beat and I chuckled because I knew God was right there with me with, along with a huge grin on his face.  Okay God, I get it, you have a second child you want us to parent.  Now how are we going to fund two adoptions, God?  This journey wasn’t on our radar.   Again, I had yet to break the subject of adopting two with my husband; I needed God to prove that this was His will.

While I knew he likely had this all worked out, I needed proof.  God showed up once again.  About mid-October I learned that the field instructor for my internship that was supposed to begin October 27^th was resigning.  No problem, I contacted my plan B location but they too were unable to accommodate me, at this time.  That means the start date for my internship gets pushed off till January 11th, which now allows me to substitute teach for the next 8 weeks  =  extra income!!!  While this won’t cover all the adoption fees, it will be helpful, especially with the holiday season upon us!  

The time had come to approach my husband.  The timing finally felt right.  What I anticipated would be a “state and persuade my case” discussion, turned out to be another answered prayer.  God had prepared his heart for this!!!  I nearly cried as a sense of peace washed over me knowing that God was in control, not me.   So surprise, or maybe not…..but we’re going to China for two again...this time for a daughter and a son!!! 

Who is this child?  Stay tuned for the big reveal!

Continuation of God's Masterpiece of our family....

As mentioned at the end of the prior post, God seems to pick the craziest times in our lives to ask us to take a leap of faith, but we find that when we rely on Him, He will show us that He is in control!  This and the following post are about answered prayers, not just one, but many!

Over the past year, or maybe longer, I have kept my heart open to adopting again, though I definitely wasn't thinking I was ready to do it anytime soon.  We already have an active house with our own six kids, plus two exchange students, and me finishing up my master's degree.  Despite that, I have continually prayed that if or when God was going to call us to adopt again, it would have to be my husband who initiated the journey... now watch how that journey unfolds and ripples.....

You see, while I stood in that airport watching Lan walk through the gates, along with my heart,  next to me stood a woman (we'll call her Jane) who came to meet Lan before she returned to China.  Why?  Because she was interested in adopting Lan.  When my husband said "maybe we should lock her file" my heart was so confused.  When deciding to host Lan, I went into the journey with the full intent of finding her a family.  I put up a "barrier" around my heart so I would be able to "let her go", as long as she had a family.  

As I stood there, reading his text my heart sank , thinking that Jane might be her family.  I couldn't just tell Jane "sorry you spent money on a plane ticket to meet this precious girl but we've changed our minds" - I wasn't sure what to feel.  Therefore, we didn't really talking about it, I wanted to allow time for things to "work out".  

In the mean time, our oldest daughter, who is 12 years old, was devastated after leaving the airport.  She sobbed most of the way home, and off and on for the next few days; she pleaded with us, asking why we couldn't be Lan's family.  The idea weighed heavy on my heart, therefore, I sent an email to Jane, asking for an update.  She mentioned she had received files from her agency for a few other girls and was looking over them.  I responded that that our daughter was struggling with Lan being gone, without a committed family; as well as sharing what my prayer had been for the past year and the text I received from my husband while standing at the airport, that I was contemplating what it all meant.  With much relief, I received an email back stating that she didn't think pursing Lan was going to work out for her family, that she and her family would give us their blessing to adopt Lan!!!  Sweet relief!

And so our third adoption journey began at the end of July.  We submitted our letter asking for China's permission to adopt Lan on August 2nd and received the letter of pre-approval on August 19th!  She will be our youngest daughter, but not youngest child, Corban and Tegan are about 16 months younger. And answered prayers don't stop there....   

    

God's Masterpiece of our family isn't complete yet!

The past year, in a nutshell....

Nearly another year has passed since my last post, yet so much has happened!  This past year has been spent getting familiar with our new home (which means we've done lots of work on it) and community in Indiana.  Overall, it has gone pretty well.  The kids are loving their new schools and friends!  We are part of a church with a great youth program! And, we've seen more family in the past year than we did the almost 14-years we lived in Iowa.  

We have made many great new connections here, one of which led us to begin hosting exchange students who were being moved from their original homes!  This past winter/spring, we were blessed to become host parents to a young man from Egypt in February and then another young man from Japan at the end of April.  While we didn't get to enjoy them for the entire school year, we were blessed to get to know them in the short few months they were with us!  You see, our home would not have been ready at the beginning of the school year, we had to do some major remodeling to get our new home from 4 bedrooms to 6!  God's timing was perfectly planned!  Sending those boys back to their home countries in June was hard but worth it!

Because of that awesome experience, we decided to host again!  This time for the entire school year.  We are now host parents to two more awesome young men, one from Germany and another from the Republic of Georgia.  Two more wonderful blessings.  We are traveling around the world without leaving our home!  

During the "down time" between the exchange students, this summer, we decided to host an orphan from China.  We originally chose to do it to host a precious nevus boy who I had been advocating for, over the past 3 years.  The goal, to help better advocate for and find him a family.  By the time we got our application in, another family was reviewing his file to host him.  Well then were notified that the family instead decided to adopt him!!!!  Praise the Lord!

Since we had already gone through the application efforts, we decided to ask about another child - a beautiful 7 year old girl (Lan) who was stated as having cerebral palsy (CP).  We reviewed the little bit of medical information they had on her and watched a few short video clips that showed some of her skills to be sure she would be able to walk up and down stairs (because that is where her bedroom would be).  From what we saw in the videos we presumed the CP must be mild.  She was to come stay with us from the end of June till the end of July, a four weeks visit.  Unfortunately, there was a world wide Visa technical issuance glitch that prevented her Visa (and many, many others) from being completed on time and was then only able to come for 2 weeks.

Lan arrived the first week of July, an obviously scared but beautiful little girl.  Our 12-year old daughter, Kailey, instantly fell in love with her and was great with her!  Over the next two weeks, Lan began to open up and we started to see her lively personality and gorgeous smile.  Of course, just as she was beginning to emerge from he shell and get into the flow of things, it was time to take her to Chicago to put her on a flight back to China.  One of the hardest things I've ever had to do.  While sending our exchange students home was hard, we knew they were going home to families, this little girl wasn't going back to a family and our hearts were heavy.  

I had a family very interested in her during this time but the agency said there was an age concern (China's adoption rule: If both parents are over 50, no more than a 50 year age difference between child and the younger applicant).  Lan's file was also reviewed by a handful of families while she was in the states but her medical file was 3 years old and stated two special needs.  You can look at either one of these special needs and be intimidated by them but when you put them on paper together and consider the extreme case of either one it sounds intimidating to take on.  Therefore, I think families were worried it was more than they could handle.    

Our experience with her was quite the opposite.  We saw a little girl with so much potential.  We took her to a physical therapist who was not convinced that she has CP.  What he saw were likely motor delays due to institutional living.  Her medical file was deceiving and hindered her chance of a family committing to her.

I went into this with the mindset that adoption just was not on our radar.  We already have 6 kids ranging in age from 16 to 6, plus two exchange students coming.  We were too busy and I didn't feel I could handle any more while trying to finish up my master's degree.  I should know better by now, God takes those exact opportunities to show his presence, grace, and support.  While standing at the airport I received a text from my husband - "maybe we should lock her file" - my heart skipped a beat and pressure filled my chest...

God, you picked a really crazy time to answer my prayer...... to be continued. 

God knew what he was doing! PTL!

3 years ago, I was on a plane bound for Detroit to meet up with my mom and aunt for another life changing journey to China.  Little did I know that the experiences of that journey would bring me to my knees, questioning my (as well as our family's) ability to hand the challenges God set before us.  The year following the adoption of our two boys was probably one of the most challenging years of my life, in so many ways, but was also the year in which I had the most spiritual reliance and growth.  Had we known of Corban's challenges before committing to him, I am not sure we would have pursued but I am thankful God knew what he was doing because that boy needed the love of a family to see his potential.  Corban is an amazing child!  To see where he was when I met him in China to where he is today (attending kindergarten at the age of 5 and nearly keeping up with his peers) is proof that love and attention are developmentally life changing.  Thank you Lord for the challenges you set before us, without them we would miss recognizing your presence!

3 years ago...

Well, I seem to be doing well at not trying to achieve the "blogger of the year" award since this is the first post in 2014.  Big changes have happened since the last post.  This past spring we decided to put our house up for sale and move closer to family.  Everything finally came together at the end of July and we made the move, a mere 2 weeks before ALL the kids started back to school.

Tegan & Corban both began kindergarten this year!!!  Three or even two years ago, we figured we'd have to send Corban to a third year of preK but as always, that kid continues to surprise us with his big developmental strides!!!

First day of school - Angel (2nd), Tegan (K), and Corban (K)

Corban's first time riding a school bus and he loves it, he gets so excited when the bus arrived, even today!

Angel & Tegan's first time riding a bus to school!

Big sister and brothers - Kailey (6th), Michiael (10th), & Logan (8th)

The kids just completed their first 9 weeks of school and they are all doing well!  Corban is keeping up with his peers at this point.  He continues to see a private speech therapist once a week, and recently began working with occupational and physical therapists once a week to work on his weak and low muscle tone, which has impacted his hand writing ability.  After only a few weeks, we are already seeing improvements!  Socially, Corban is also progressing.  We hear that he is doing more play/interacting with peers.  Recently, I asked him what he did during indoor recess, in which he responded "played with cars".  I then asked if he played with anyone and he responded with two names!!!!  That sure made this mom's heart smile!  He loves looking at books and is beginning to read site words, just like his peers, which blows me away!   

God sure knew what he was doing when he made us this precious boy's parents!  I'm not sure who is learning more in this journey, Corban or his parents!

Let me know forget Tegan!  He continues to develop along with his peers.  He and Angel were both assessed by the ELL (English Language Learner's) teacher and both passed as being fluent in English!  Tegan enjoys trying to keep up with his big sisters, in doing whatever they do.  The boys are in different classrooms at school so that Tegan doesn't step in to assist Corban.  Tegan has been struggling with telling the truth here at home and has had some defiance issues at school, but his teacher tells me that is improving.  He has had to learn some hard lessons over the past few months regarding these issues.    

As far as surgeries, we are waiting till next year to move forward, but no date(s) has been set.  Tegan's next step will be to have a skin graft taken from behind his right ear to replace the small area of nevus that remains under his left eye - this is the same procedure Angel has had done.  As for Corban, he will have the remaining spot on his right cheek excised and possibly some scar revisions (or injections) done to revise scars on his back and sides.  And Angel will likely have some minor revisions done, as well.

With the move, we went from living on one acre, with a few baby trees, to about 6 acres with many mature trees; therefore, the kids have been able to rake leaves and reap the benefits - learning that hard work pays off with a fun leaf pile.

 What's in store for our future, I do not know but God does.  

In the mean time, I continue to advocate for nevus owners in China who wait for their forever families to find them.  If you have room in your heart and family to love one more child, please contact me.

Also, if you are the parent of a nevus owner and are seeking support, please don't hesitate to email me.

  Blessing to each of you!